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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24631270">You are my sunshine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_your_casual_nerd/pseuds/Just_your_casual_nerd'>Just_your_casual_nerd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead To Me (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fuck Or Die, Hurt/Comfort, Lost Love, Love, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Women Being Awesome</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:48:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24631270</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_your_casual_nerd/pseuds/Just_your_casual_nerd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Judy cant live with the feeling of hurting Jen and all those around her. So, she decides to take mattes into her own hands so no one else gets hurt. </p><p>*I do not own Dead to Me*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Judy Hale/Jen Harding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You are my sunshine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Judy's whole body hurts. She can feel a couple of broken bones and some blood that's coming out of her nose and mouth. And Judy cant help but think she deserves so much more pain for what she's done to Jen. </p><p>If judy had been paying attention that night, if she hadn't been so emotional after the loss of her 5th baby, maybe things would have been different. Maybe if she should have stopped the car and gotten out and called for help, ted would still be here and Jen would have been better. Maybe, Judy thinks, if she wasnt alive she wouldnt have caused so much pain to all the important people in her life. </p><p>If she would have kept her mouth shut her mother wouldn't have been sent to jail. If she wasnt broken then she could have had children so steve wouldnt have had to be sad and disappointed in Judy. Maybe, if Judy wasnt such a freak and disgusting person she could have saved Jen from having to go through so much pain that she caused her. </p><p>If she were dead, than she wouldn't hurt anyone anymore.</p><p>And that's what Judy did, or tried to do. As she saw a car coming over the bend in the road she closes her eyes, says a silent prayer and walks forward on to the path of the oncoming car. And the last thing she can remember is the feeling of emense pain as the car hits and then her world go black. </p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Jen was furious. How could she have been so stupid!? She had let a complete stranger into her home, let her be around her kids and endanger them. Judy had killed her husband and that means she could have killed her boys. How could have she been so naive to let Judy into her heart? </p><p>But today, as she saw Judy walk away after she told her to disappear off of the fucking planet, she felt a sting in her heart that had not gone away for the rest of the day. Jen could not shake the feeling that somthing bad was going to happen and that she made a huge mistake. </p><p>It was over now though. Judys gone and she had called the police, told them what Judy had done to ted, that she had killed him. Then, Jen had installed cameras all around the house just in case Judy had showed up. She couldn't and wouldnt, think of Judy as her friend anymore, she had to think of the safety of her boys instead of the pain she feels left by Judy's absence.</p><p>But the pain of losing Judy came back tenfold when steve arrived at her home looking for Judy. </p><p>Jen was in the guest house putting the little wooden bird that Judy had given Henry in the safe. But as she was putting the bird away, she found a little opening in it. Curiosity got the best of her, so she decided to open the hatch and what she found inside stunned her. It was a check for over $700,000, Judy's last ditch effort to make sure Jen was ok. Jen felt her resolve brake a little inside her. He heart yearning for Judy a little more. And as she was about to put the brid away she heard the rustling of the gate being opened. </p><p>Jen stood up and from her crouched position and called Judy's name, but the voice she heard was not Judy's. It was Steve's. </p><p>"Where's Judy? I need to speak to her immediately."</p><p>"Well, she's not here." </p><p>"Where is she?"</p><p>"I dont know."</p><p>Jen watched as steve looked at her, then he headed to the outdoor chairs and grabbed the wine bottle that she had opened early and took a generous swig of it. </p><p>"You could've told me that you're pulling that offer. It really did fuck me, you know that?" Jen said as she followed steve to the chairs.</p><p>"Yeah, well, Judy fucked me. There you go. She ruined my life."</p><p>"Well, your not alone." </p><p>"I told you. Anywhere Judy goes, chaos follows." Steve said in a exasperated tone.</p><p>"Yup.....you did."</p><p>"I was just trying to look out for you."</p><p>".... do you ah, do you want a drink or somthing? I can get you a glass." </p><p>"Hmm, no I dont need a glass, I have the bottle. "</p><p>........ </p><p>"You wanna know somthing Jen, she destroyed me. My whole life, my family, everything I worked for, it's all gonna disappear......." Steve said as he got up with the bottle and walked up to the pool, drinking as he went. </p><p>"What happend?"</p><p>"I cant really talk about it, but Judy fucked it up, like always."</p><p>"Ha, what? Did she run someone else over?" Steve turned around to look at her.</p><p>"She told you?"</p><p>"Hm, yeah, yeah she did."</p><p>"Fuck.</p><p>Steve stood there, staring at Jen with an intensity that she had never seen before. She couldn't read his face. But his eyes, they painted another picture. A picture like he was just caught red handed taking a cookie out of the cookie jar even though he was told no. </p><p>"Would it make any difference if I...told you I'm sorry?" Steve said this with fake emotion, portraying himself as the victim in all of this mess. </p><p>"Not like I was the one driving, it was Judy's fault."</p><p>Jen stared at him, unbelieving and unblinking at Steve. She felt a chill go down her spine. </p><p>"You were in the car?"</p><p>Steve stared at her as she said those words, and then walked over to her and gently grabbed her hands in a tight embrace.</p><p>"Jen, that was..... honestly, one of the worst moments in my entire life."</p><p>"I'm so sorry." Jen says, and steve acts as though he is the one that she is supposed to be comforting instead of her. </p><p>"Thank you..... it uh, it just killed me not to tell you. Especially once, once I got to know you. You know, in so many ways it's like we are in this mess together."</p><p>"Are we?"</p><p>"Yeah" steve says with fake sadness. </p><p>"Thats why I need you to help me." Steve says. "I gotta find Judy. Can you help me do that?" </p><p>"Why didnt you stop?" As Jen asks these words, she suddenly understands what happened. Judy would have stopped the car. Judy would have gotten out and made sure ted was ok and would have called the police. It was Steve's doing, it was him who wouldnt let Judy go, wouldnt let her help. </p><p>"What? What are you talking about?"</p><p>"That night." </p><p>"Oh, um.. I wanted to, I really did." </p><p>"Judy said she wanted to go back, but she couldn't..... why not?" As she looks at steve she can tell he's stuck between and rock and a hard place. Desperately trying to figure out a way to blame Judy for everything. To tell Jen that it was him who wanted to stop and help ted, but Judy wouldnt let him.</p><p>"I dont.... I dont know, she just didnt." </p><p>"And you didnt."</p><p>"Dont say that." Steve says with exasperatione. </p><p>"Don't what?" </p><p>"Dont turn this into some "blame the man" thing. It wasn't my fault, Judy hit him, you should be mad at her, not me. I'm innocent. We both know what Judy's capable of." As steve says this he gets off of his chair and goes to leave. </p><p>"Yeah?" Jen says full of anger and stands to meet him. "And I know what you're capable of."</p><p>"Oh yeah? You have no fucking idea what I'm capable of. Her hands, were on the wheel and her foot was on the gas. Not me. So dont, even fucking look at me like that!!" Steve's words are like venom to Jen. He turns around to face her yet again. Anger written all over his face.</p><p>"Fuck you!" Jen spits at him. </p><p>"Fuck you!!" Steve spits back. "She was the one driving. She did it!"</p><p>"Yeah? What did you say, huh? After she hit him, what.did.you.say?"</p><p>"I dont remember." Jen could visibly see the sweat rolling down Steve's face as he stood there trying to figure out an answer to her question. </p><p>"That was one of the worst moments of your entire life and you dont remember?" At this moment Jen knows she's got him. He stuck, trapped and there's no way to get out. </p><p>"I. Dont. Remember. Ok? I dont remember." Steve's voice was trembling with unsaid anger, his hands moving wildly around him.</p><p>"Judy would have stopped." At this moment Jen knows that she forgives Judy. Yes, she killed her husband, and yes, she lied to her. But, Judy would have stopped. She would have done the right thing, should have tried to help and save ted more than steve ever would. And, that is something that makes Judy all the more special.</p><p>"Did you not hear me the first time? I said I dont remember, so stop it." As Steve says these words, he advances towards Jen with anger in his eyes. </p><p>No, Jen will not let him intimidated her. She will not let him treat her the way he once treated Judy. So, she pulls out her gun out of her pocket and aims it at him. </p><p>"Okay. You need to leave right now. Get off of my property and dont come back or I swear I'll fucking shoot a hole right between your fucking eyes. </p><p>At this, Steve stops walking and just stars at her. </p><p>"Fuck Jen, Im a good guy! You dont need to do this!" </p><p>"No, your not a good guy, your a fucking monster.</p><p>"What!? Your defending her, and you're pulling a fucking gun on me?"</p><p>"I want you to leave my house. Now!" </p><p>Steve watches her, and moves forward to try and get the gun away from her. </p><p>"Give me the gun Jen. You dont know what your doing. I'm not going anywhere. </p><p>"Dont come any closer!" Jen yells, then she fires waiting shot next to Steve's head, barely missing him. </p><p>Steve stops moving. </p><p>"Your fucking crazy you bitch!!" </p><p>"Leave....Now." </p><p>And he does, steve watches her as he walks over to the gate and opens it. </p><p>"This isn't done, Jen. I'll be back."</p><p>Then he's gone and Jen breaths a sigh of relief and tears start falling down her face. She could have gotten hurt. She could have died. Her boys could have gotten hurt for Pete sake!! </p><p>Jen runs to her kitchen and as she is about to call the police, another number shows up. Jen stars at the number, having never seen it before, she wonders if she should answer it or not. On the last ring she decides to answers it. </p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Is this Jen Harding?" </p><p>"Yes. Who is this?" </p><p>"This is the Lagua Beach hospital, Judy hale was hit by a car a few hours ago and was brought to the hospital. It says here that you are her emergency contact." </p><p>At this, Jen's body goes cold. This cant be right. It's all some sick dream that she will wake up from anytime now. </p><p>"Mrs.Harding? Are you there?" </p><p>"Yes, yes I'm here. Is.... is uh.. is Judy alright?" </p><p>"I'm sorry ma'am, Ms. Hale has broken three ribs, fractured her wrist, and has sever bruising on most of her body. The doctors had to take her into surgery because one of her ribs punctured her lung and caused internal bleeding. Ms.Hale ended up coding 4 times on the operating table and has slipped into a coma. The doctors predict she might not make it through the night. I'm sorry Mrs.Harding, but it would be best if you could come to the hospital and discuss what would be the best thing for Ms.Hale, and possibly to give you the chance to say your last goodbyes if necessary.</p><p>Jen is frozen. She runs on autopilot and doesnt quite remember telling the nurse thank you and then hanging up the phone. All she can think of is Judy, and the fact that shes dying right now. That she got hit by car. And then Jen suddenly remembers her words from earlier that day. </p><p>"You can disappear off the face of the fucking earth!!" </p><p>Did Jen do this to Judy? Is it Jens fault that Judy did what she did? </p><p>In the span of a couple days Jens life has been thrown upside down. She found out the women that she loved and lived with killed her husband. And now she lays in hospital bed where she might never wake up from.</p><p>And, at this moment, through all the shit Jen Harding has gone through, all she can think of is Judy. Wonderful, amazing, beautiful Judy would could put a smile on everyone's faces. Her Judy. The one person she can never live without. The person who brought so much joy and love into her and her kid's lives.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.</p><p>"Hold on Judy, I'm coming to get you."</p>
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